Saturday Night with a 12-year old.

Last night went home early(earlier than normal) after church, realised that my brother’s pet fish which has been around let me see… (i bought it when i was sec 3) for 8 years passed away. As I entered my door, i saw my younger brother standing in front of the fish tank, tears flowing down his hugely pinchable cheeks looking at the lifeless body of the fish.

Being the awesome brother that I am, I look at the clock, realising its already 10.30pm, went into my room after expressing a few disgruntled words of sympathy, headed into my room to have my daily dose of scrubs, feeling no real sense of sadness or pity that the fish i bought had died. (the last animal i had attachment to was free willy you see. haha)

Then my brother made an odd request. “kor, can i bury the fish?’

I looked at him and said ‘Do anything you want, actually just throw away la, burying is so ma fan’

Which at this point my brother just went out to sit at the living room sofa, and continue mourning for his loss. This made me feel terrible and I did something that defied all logic and sense. I went out to offer to bury the fish together with my brother.

Armed with a ladle with a broken handle, I went down with my brother to the grass patch near the fitness corner at 11pm and actually start attempting to dig a hole in the ground with  blunt ladle, muttering non audible complaints and swearing in my heart.

It took pretty long actually, midway through the digging, my bro ran up to the house and grabbed another ladle, pushed me aside and started digging furiously. Then we started digging together, furiously digging away without stopping. After which he buried the fish together with a few pebbles and stones from his tank.

As I stood there looking at my brother putting the fish in its grave and wondering what an awesome brother I am, it actually touched my heart. He spoke to the fish, thanking him for being his pet for 8 years, prayed aloud that he hopes to see him in heaven, and saying his final goodbye.

What seem in the beginning a lame act made me realised a few things.

The childlikeness in my younger brother. He wanted the best for the fish, it’s not something he just chuck away, he actually believed that he is going to see the fish in heaven and prayed for it!? Man, no wonder Jesus said let the little children come to him. The sincerity inspired me while  I can only stand there cursing my own cynicism.

His sincerity translated to commitment and loyalty as well. Despite their obvious differences(my bro is nowhere remotely near being a mermaid/merman), lack of communication, my bro knew that is their relationship as pet and master he treasured, faithfully ensuring that the fish is well-fed, tank cleaned and even having a proper burial right till the end.

Then I realised maybe this is how I need to learnt to treat certain people around me, maybe this is how the care group and church should be, fiercely loyal to one another, supporting one another till the end, and being sincere towards both God and people.

Man, God actually spoke to me through my 10 years younger than me brother whom I believed was born with only one mission: To trample on my nerves which will lead to me exploding and dying one day.

Kudos to Hope kids for nurturing my brother, and

Kudos to God to let me witness the beginning of what potentially could be start of a development of a young, powerful and biblical man.

Jiayou Yu Han.